After two weeks of no school, I made a promise to myself to give this half of the year all I have. I came back to find that all of my students seemed to truly miss me and miss art class. I received so many hugs and letters on Tuesday morning… and it made me the happiest I have been in awhile.
Although other aspects of my life seem really uncertain and cause me significant stress/pain, I am feeling better about my job. I still can barely stay organized but my teaching ability seems much more stable. These last few days I felt like I have been touching my kids and making a mark. Now when I begin telling them something they seem more willing to stop, put down materials, and make eye contact with me. One letter I received from a 3rd grader was 3 pages long and described how influential I have been to her.
I am hurting for various reasons but that pain subsides when a first grader asks me if I can help him unzip his coat or tie his shoe laces. I feel truly beautiful when my kindergarteners call out “Ms. G you look beautiful today! I love your dress, I like your hair, I like I like I like…” I have a purpose when so many young people tell me they need me. The love and appreciation I get as an art teacher, regardless of how fleeting it seems sometimes, keeps me going. My roommate told me at 5:30 this morning, while trying to comfort me in personal struggles said, “you are giving these kids exactly what they need, even if only for 45 minutes a week.”
I hope. Pray for me.
